You know you've lived in France too long when...

I have lived in France for almost two years. First, I went for 8 months when I was 16 to a small town near the italian border called Gap. Then, at age 19 I went there for another year as a part of an exchange program with my boyfriend to a city called Caen, at the northern part of France. After that my boyfriend returned to Caen alone also for a year and I visited him 2 months on summer and 2 months on Christmas vacation. Now, I'm returning to France for another year this August, but now I'm going to Paris!!.. Yeap, it looks like I'll be living in the most fabulous city of the world for a while..

This is something one of my australian friends sent me about living in France... and I found it hilarious...

So, you know you've lived in France too long when:

• You end 90% of your sentences with "quoi"...
• ...And you begin them all with "bon" or "alors".
• You start to prefer baguettes to sliced bread.
• When you do actually buy sliced bread it no longer amuses you.
• You actually know what your favourite wine is.
• You feel guilty about being pissed in a bar cuz no one else is.
• The notion of food being a supermarket's main product seems unthinkable.
• You know that when shops close for "lunch hour" that actually means 4-5 hours.
• All official paperwork of any kind never takes less than 6 weeks to process.
• Toilet paper is a distant memory.
• Toilet seats are a luxury.
• Paying more than 3€ for a bottle of wine seems extortionate, but finding a Snickers for anything less than a quid seems like a bargain.
• You know the only place open on a Sunday is church.
• You stop buying soda and start drinking coffee after lunch.
• You're disappointed when your accomodation doesn't have a balcony.
• You get offended when people don't "vous" you.
• You understand French jokes.
• You stop hugging people or shaking as hands as a form of greeting, opting instead to "faire des bises".
• You've never seen so many erotic films in your life, most with a 12 certificate which start at around 3pm.
• "Going on holiday" just means going to another part of France.
• You never again make the fatal mistake of saying "Je suis plein(e)" after a meal.
• You know the difference between a crepe and a gaufrette, a croque monsieur and a croque madame.
• Cheese is an acceptable dessert, and your favorite dessert is no longer ice cream but crème brulée.
• You know all of the women in the boulangerie by name.
• You stop putting "xoxo" at the end of your texts and start to opt for "biz".
• You cross the roads without looking.
• You start using French words/phrases to your non-speaking French friends and it seems weird that they can't understand.
• You say "merci" and "s'il vous plait" about 5 times during any one shop transaction.
• You know what URSAAF, TGV and RER stand for - and you hate them all.
• You have to go the mairie at least once a month.
• You don't notice that distinctly "French toilet smell" anymore.
• McDonalds becomes MacDo.
• It's not weird when a total stranger bids you "bonjour" or "bonsoir".
• You say "dis-donc" about 50 times a day (though you're still not quite sure what it means....)
• Random condom machines in the street no longer shock/amuse you.
• You start to say "hop" after every single action you make.